Packet #115: Cheetos Fiery Jalapeno & Cheese

Cheetos are the kind of Crisp you see on TV. They are exotic, dare I say, slightly thrilling to see in the wild. When you see a Cheetos packet, it brings to mind 1980s programmes from America where all the children had telephones in their bedrooms.

But when I see them do I want to purchase them? No. And why’s that, I hear you ask? Do you think I’m too intimidated by their strange and foreign charm? It’s nothing like that, it’s just that I don’t like a cheesy puff sorta Crisp. I’ve tried them but they’re not the Crisp that calls to me.

However, in the queue in Aldi the other day, dear reader, call they did. I saw this packet of Cheetos Fiery Jalapeno & Cheese twists and I thought to myself, this is something that needs to be explored further.

I impulse bought them (exactly what Aldi hoped would happen) and took them home. Cracking them open after lunch, I was immediately struck by their size. These Crisps are HUGE. Each twist is about the same length as those pencils you get free in Ikea. And they’re thick too, like a large stick of rock.

On the packet, it looks like they’re a normal Crisp colour, but actually they’re a deep red inside the pack, HEAVILY coated in seasoning. “You’re not going to get away from this Crisp session with a clean top,” I thought to myself. And I was correct.

The initial bite was a little cheesy and a LOT spicy. And it’s a builder too. Sometimes Crisps claim to be spicy but they’re lacking. These certainly live up to their Fiery name.

So I like the novelty size. The flavour and spice is good, if a little intense. Sure they’re messy, but I won’t write them off for that. However, for me, the texture here is just off.

If you like a regular Cheeto, you’ll probably be down for this. But as they’re not my usual bag, I couldn’t really get past it. They’re soft and dense, so they stick in your teeth even worse than a Monster Munch or Chickatee.

I finished the whole bag over a couple of sittings, but certainly wouldn’t rebuy. Although if you want to have a powerfully spicy experience and have a gentle reminder of said experience in your teeth for several hours, then this just might be the Crisp for you.

Christine.

Packet #114 - Cheezy Corn Crunch - Spicy Buffalo Wings

 

Evidence shows that many years ago our ancestors used to chase down wild animals and eat them! Then we decided to stay in one spot and began farming - comfier gaffs and better food. After that… towns, villages and cities formed around farms (easier for trading) and before we knew where we were things got serious and we had magnificent empires! These days we absolutely love big economic trading blocks eg Europe buying and selling things with North America for example. 

Within all this hustle and bustle people like to travel around the world in search of economic opportunities and have a nice safe place to live. 

Some people even like to travel to Ireland in search of such opportunities and it’s within this vast mixing bowl of human life that myself and my two year old son ended up in an Asian supermarket on Moore Street looking for some unusual crisps to review. 

As we stared in wonder at the variety of crisps on display from foreign lands we plucked down a bag of Cheezy Corn Crunch - Spicy Buffalo Wings. 

The design of the bag is intriguing, who is the person on the bag? What are they looking at? Do they feel happy that they’ve eaten Cheezy Corn Crunch - Spicy Buffalo Wings? Or do they feel sad? Maybe this review will shed some light on their situation. 

Opening the bag I obviously had to have a big whiff to get an idea of what was in store. No smell. What? No smell of note. In fact the only the only smell they did have was almost… like paint? Not the most promising start I have to admit. But fearlessly I munched on. The crisps themselves look exactly like Nik Naks, small knobbly looking things. The taste is extreme. Definitely a strong chicken vibe, and not in a good way - kind of like eating a raw oxo cube and they’re spicy! A high 4/5 in the spicy levels. I’m actually not sure these crisps are any good. I’d recommend steering clear. 

Mark. 

Packet #113 - Snackrite Cheese Puffs

I’ll admit it, I’m not a Cheese expert. But I do know that it comes in four varieties. Blocks, slices, grated and melted. However, undeterred by the constraints of cheese the boffins at Snackrite have put their food science hats on their noggins, studied the complexities and nuances of Wotsits, Cheetos and Tayto’s Cheesatees and came up with “Cheese Puffs”.  

When I opened the bag I was expecting the same reassuring extreme cheese smell you get from Wotsists & co. And yet… no extreme cheese smell? 🤔

Not to worry. They look the exact same. And have the same texture. You eat them and they practically evaporate upon munch, remarkable. But I’m here for extreme cheese and I’m just not getting extreme cheese. Yeah there’s a hint, but there’s not the reassuring extremity in cheese flavour I’ve gotten used to down the years (I really like the extreme cheese flavour). 

Overall, Snackrite Cheese Puffs don’t quite hit the high taste standards set by the big players in the market which is a shame because everything else works like it should. 

Mark. 

Packet #112: Tayto Occasions Amarillo Chilli

 

A posh Crisp always promises a lot. Don't get me wrong, I have high expectations when I open any packet of Crisps. But posh Crisps promise a transformative experience. For example, these Tayto Crisps are for "Occassions" when you want to pretend to be in "Amarillo" eating "Chilli". Ooooooh.

Although I'm familiar with the song, I'm not going to pretend I didn't have to Google where Amarillo is. Did these Crisps transport me to a Texan city with a mayor called Ginger and a museum about horses? Read on to find out.

The black packaging and slightly heavier than normal foil makes these feel like a notions Crisp. And that can be a good thing, if you're in a certain mood.

Crack open the packet and you're greeted with a slightly exotic waft. Not overly chilli smelling, but definitely spiced.

Dig one of these golden discs out of the bag and you'll spot the tiny air bubbles of a well fried Crisp. A good sign for the impending texture test…

...And yes, they deliver on that front too. Very satisfyingly crunchy. Exactly what you'd expect from a posh Crisp.

Tastewise, they are quite sweet at first crunch. Even sweeter than Walker's Sensations Thai Sweet Chilli, and they have "sweet" in the name. The spiciness in this Crisp is one that is subtle at the start, but does build to quite a powerful spiciness at the end.

I don't think I felt like I was in Amarillo by the end of the bag, but then again I've never been to Texas.

Would I buy them again? I'm not so sure. I prefer a little less of a sweetness in my Crisp, if I'm being honest. But perhaps if I needed to impress a Texan, they'd be just the ticket.

Christine.

Packet #111: Manhattan Cheese & Onion

 

Crisp fans, I'm back. After taking some time off from reviewing to have severe nausea for six months and then THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY IN NORTH EAST DUBLIN, I'm back in the Crisp saddle.

And what better way to celebrate than with a classic Crisp I don't think* we've EVER reviewed. Yes, it's the cult classic Manhattan Cheese & Onion.

Now, this Crisp is traditionally found in the pub. The pub Crisp experience was sadly not available to many for so long. But now many of you are beginning to settle into pub life again, it's a great time to talk Manhattan Crisps.

First up, the packaging is ICONIC. I challenge you all to find a more stylish packet. 

Now pop open the bag and take a sniff. There is a clear potato waft and the C&O scent takes somewhat a backseat. Possibly good for a social Crisp experience?

This texture is a little thicker than the average Tayto, but not as thick as a posh Crisp, if you know what I mean. So it's got that crunch you want without disrupting nearby conversations or waking sleeping babies.

Taste-wise, it's an interesting bag. There are some Crisps that are a little light on flavour and some that are little flavour bombs. If you like the odd C&O super hit, these are for you. The seasoning itself is nicely balanced. Not overly oniony, not overly cheesey, just delicious. 

Ideal with a glass of Guinness on a Sunday evening or, as I'm currently eating them, at 9:40am while my tiny and gorgeous son is napping. 

Christine. 

*Sorry Mark and Deano if I'm wrong about this.

Packet 110: Mackie’s of Scotland Haggis & Cracked Black Pepper

Everyone’s routines are upended during this unprecedented time we find ourselves in. For example, I now only stock up on Crisps once a week instead of heading into the shop on a whim. I have to schedule my Crisping intake like never before.

That’s why I was so delighted to have been given this packet of Mackie’s of Scotland Haggis & Cracked Black Pepper Crisps by top Crisp friends Rachel and Ian.

Rachel and Ian, who are also very accomplished internet bingo players, pulled a blinder when they pulled this bag of Crisps off the shelf.

When I first saw they were a posh Crisp with the meatiest of meat flavours, I thought they’d definitely not be for me. But upon further inspection of the packet, this flavour is in fact suitable for vegetarians AND vegans. Colour me impressed.

I have little idea of what haggis is supposed to taste like, but I know I like the taste of these Crisps.

They are very peppery – spicy in a Szechuan-style way. It’s the kind of spicy sensation that keeps tingling minutes after you take your final mouthful. At the same time, they’re quite rich, sort of festive and slightly sweet.

The Crisp itself is a fairly standard structure, not too thick and certainly not too thin. Each Crisp, big or small, benefits from the evenly distributed yet bold flavour throughout.

They are a strong, bold Crisp. Not for the lighthearted. However, that’s what I look for in a Crisp. This the best new flavour I’ve had in absolutely ages.

Christine.

Packet #109: Lays Thai Taste Shrimp Tom Yum Flavour

I picked these up for day 2 of the slow boat to Luang Prabang, a 9 hour boat journey so snacks are essential.

I had seen this flavour in shops  before but I’d been burned with the very disappointing seaweed flavour I’d tried so I’d been dragging my heels and my expectations were low.

I’ve never been happier to admit I was wrong.

They were a revelation! Slowly revealing the bouquet of flavours with each delicious bite. First the prawn, then the lemongrass, then the chilli...it was all there. A crisp to be savoured rather than devoured, and packing a very pleasing punch that lingers in your mouth after you’ve finished but will linger even longer in my memory.

I’d go as far as to say that, outside of the generally acknowledged standard crisp flavours, they’re the nicest tasting crisp I’ve ever had.

I only hope they’re readily salted available throughout the rest of SE Asia. Any crisp aficionados visiting the area in the future should make this their first port of call.

Seán